


Breaking The Law(Not Your Heart)

by NebulaWrites



Series: (T)ObiDei Week 2018 [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Late as ever, M/M, What even was this one?, fluff?, humor?, i'm not sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-08-23 03:51:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16611395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NebulaWrites/pseuds/NebulaWrites
Summary: "You redefine 'fuck the police."Deidara scoffs, glancing over his shoulder to glare mildly at the man who spoke. What kind of attempt was that for a pickup line?





	Breaking The Law(Not Your Heart)

**Author's Note:**

> Written while exhausted with literal numb eyes. I had fun though! I hope you have fun reading this, too!
> 
> (T)ObiDei week prompt 2: policeman and criminal

"You redefine ' _fuck the police_ '."

Deidara scoffs, glancing over his shoulder to glare mildly at the man who spoke. What kind of attempt was that for a pickup line? "That has to be the worst pickup line I've ever heard," he says bluntly, adjusting his sunglasses before giving up immediately and dumping them on his desk. The man just blinks and tips his head, looking completely unrepentant even as there's a disgruntled hiss from one of his co-workers. Probably Akatsuchi. Maybe Kurotsuchi?

"Deidara, do not let criminals _flirt with you_!"

Ah, so it was Onoki then?

"That's the first thing he's said in hours!" he objects just to be contrary, smirks when the old man squawks furiously. Then adds because he feels he should, "And technically he's not a criminal, he has his papers to carry that weapon!"

"I don't care!"

"Is he always like this?" the Uchiha in the cell asks, leaning forward and resting his scarred cheek against his fist. The blond officer agrees with a hum, spinning his chair around so his back is to Onoki. "Why do you bother with him?"

"Adopted. If I don't, Kurotsuchi will be upset, hm." he shrugs, completely ignoring the way Onoki starts screeching about giving away personal information to a criminal. The man barks a laugh, insisting he knew what it was like to have clingy family quite well. "Quite annoying, but you've got to deal with it." Deidara sighs heavily as his chair is spun around, giving Akatsuchi a glare of pure annoyance and wincing as Kurotsuchi all but throws herself over his desk, reaching for his throat.

"Annoying?! I'll show you annoying, brother Deidara!"

 

Obito snorts from inside the cell, tilting his head and watching in amusement as Deidara's chair falls backward when the blond and the girl start tussling, not quite something that should be done between two police officers, especially at work, but amusing nonetheless. The big man who had spun the chair around shakes his head a little, looking down at the two scuffling on the floor before he turns to the elderly man who had started the whole thing by yelling at Deidara. He's not entirely sure how long the whole thing lasts, though, only became aware of the passage of time when there's a pointed knock at the front desk.

"Kakashi," the scarred man cries in equal parts relief and exasperation. "Where the hell have you _been_?!"

As ever, Kakashi looks utterly unrepentant as he gives Deidara and the girl his best shit-eating grin, leaning against the desk even as the two spring apart, rushing to right themselves even though Kakashi had already seen their scuffle. "Can I help you?" the black-haired woman asks through clenched teeth, stepping forward to offer a clipboard to Obito's god-awful friend.

"Just here to round up the rowdy child is all." Kakashi hums, taking a pen and scribbling it against the clipboard before handing both back to the officer – Kurotsuchi? – even as Obito bristles and takes a breath to shout. "Maa, Obito, don't shout. This is the police office!" Obito narrows his eyes sharply, glaring at his traitorous friend viciously. _This_ was precisely why Rin was Obito's best friend, not Kakashi.

Something is waved slightly in his line of vision and Obito pauses, focusing on the object instead of the way Kakashi was beginning to flirt with the girl. Deidara looks both bored and amused as he waves the folder again. "The proof you had every right to have that knife. I made a copy, so take it and keep it on you, hm." the blond officer says plainly, cocking his hip and efficiently unlocking the cell door even though it gets a screech from the old man. Snagging the folder, Obito thumbs through it briefly before snapping it shut.

"Coffee?" he grunts, simply mirroring the motion of Deidara raising a brow in questioning.

After a beat, Deidara laughs suddenly, shaking his head, "You don't miss an opportunity, do you?"

"I try not to," the Uchiha agrees, grinning a little. "Well?"

"I get off in about two hours, hm, got a place in mind?"

Obito can't do anything but grin more, offering a single nod before beginning to slink back towards Kakashi when the taller man harrumphs. "The shop on Tanzaku in the Konoha district. I'll be there in three hours," he says, offering the other officers a dirty glare moments before ducking after his friend when the door opens.

"Three hours!" Deidara calls back loudly, nodding once. "Be there or I'll hunt you down!"

What else could he have done aside from laugh, diving into the passenger seat even as Rin brings the car to life.

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who are wondering, I'm just going to post the series link on my [Tumblr](https://nebulawritesao3.tumblr.com) instead of individual ones like I did for MadaTobi week.


End file.
